Sadako Sasaki and her 1,000 paper cranes is my most vivid memory of school work from primary school. Sadako was diagnosed with Leukemia after atomic bomb was dropped on Japan during WWII. She is a real girl, and her story is real. It is believed that a person who creates 1,000 paper cranes would be cured by gods. I read this story in 4th grade, it was moving while I read it, but it was more moving after I had finished it.
It was a very cold January when I was in 4th grade. I remember having lots of snow, especially on this particular weekend I am going to recount for you.
It was a typical Sunday morning at my grandmother's house. My father was still living there trying to recoup financially from his divorce. We had just eaten breakfast which meant it was now time to watch Sunday morning cartoons! As to what me and Shawn were watching, I can't remember, that was information overload for my young memory that day. I was ten years old, and Shawn was only eight. We were so close in age that we were best friends, but we had our fair share of fights. There was one thing you would always see us doing together, and that would be watching our Sunday morning cartoons.
The phone rings and Dad answers. "You need us to come right now? ...... Uh ok..... Yeah we're on our way"
"Shawn, get ready, we have to go somewhere, Sam, you have to stay here."
He then went off to talk to my grandmother and the next thing I remember is him and Shawn leaving. I had no idea what was going on, where they were going, I just knew this wasn't good.
I sat there watching tv for a while and then I heard the phone ring again. My grandmother picked it up. I couldn't hear what was said I just seen her starting to cry. I asked her what happened, what was wrong, and she told me nothing. I went into the bathroom and started sobbing silently. I didn't want her to know that I knew something was terribly wrong. I was terrified of what was going on and I had no clue that my tears were justified.
My mother was coming to pick me up was what I was told later. This was terribly unusual. Normally my father would drop me and brother off at her house. I had no idea where they even were. When I got into the car, my mother told me that Shawn and Dad were at the hospital. She was going to take me to Applebee's so that we could talk about some stuff.
Before our waiter could even bring me my drink, my mother had told me Shawn was diagnosed with cancer. He had leukemia. The word "Leukemia" made me snap. All day I had been trying so hard to hold my fear in, but now it all came pouring out. I began to sob, and scream, I was so upset I couldn't breathe. Sadako died, so that means Shawn will. That was my first thought. My best friend was going to die and there was not a damn thing I could do to help him, or stop it. I wanted this to be a really bad dream. Shawn couldn't have cancer. I'm the older sibling, it has to be me. I need to be the one with cancer, I need to be the one dying.
Both of my parents told me Shawn wouldn't die, the doctors were going to help him. I was kind of relieved, but I remember sitting in my room for three nights in a row unable to sleep because I was crying. I eventually calmed down, and Shawn had a year and half left of his life. Of which, is too much to jam into one blog, and too much on my emotions to sit and write all at once.
If you're ever wondering what a truly guilty feeling is like, imagine this. Imagine doing a bone marrow transplant to save your brother's life, or not playing some PS2 games with him because you didn't like the games, or even as simple as not saying I love you enough, and then he dies at 10 years old. I felt responsible for his death for years because my bone marrow didn't save him, I still feel guilty even though I had no control and I know it's really not my fault. I still feel guilty to this day for not playing nascar PS2 games with him. Do you have any regrets? Because I have a laundry list.
I did a lot with my brother, and I have a lot of pictures and memories, that I am truly thankful for. That little boy changed my life, he has made me who I am, and continues to shape me today with his memory. Give you siblings a hug, tell them you love them, even if it is a text. One day, you'll be happy you did.
I finished reading 1,000 Paper Cranes two weeks before my brother's diagnosis. Although it made for a traumatic experience, I knew what to expect. I knew how horrible cancer was, and I was able to live knowing there was limited time. As for myself, I am cancer free but have had a scare. My brother and I have nearly identical DNA so it is a fear I live with. All I know is that if I am ever diagnosed, I have lived my life in such a way that I can be at peace.
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